Do you get sad every time you see your curved dick and hope it could get a little straighter and longer? Don’t worry, man; it’s fine unless she asks you…is it in YET?
Whether you like it or not, you’d better be proud of it because you’ll have it for the rest of your life. Give it a name unless you want all your decisions being made by strangers. And beware; it could be mad at you even more than you are at him for all the things that you probably do.
Do you ever wonder what it would say if it could talk to you?
What are your little Johnson’s greatest hopes and fears?
Why does he tolerate someone who beats him daily?
How does he deal with his asshole neighbor and the fact that his best friend is a pussy?
Believe it or not, it’s not easy being a dick, considering all of the hardships that you put him through. Even though you’re lazy, he has to constantly do push ups. Even though you’ve lost all sense of chivalry and stay sitting down when a pretty girl walks into the room, he will stand up immediately like a gentleman. You abuse him by strangling him every day and you make him fall asleep with booze every night. Then you’re surprised when he’s too tired to work!
So have some compassion for your manhood and everything he does for you. He is an important part of you that you should always take good care of. Be mindful to protect him from injury and to lay off on the alcohol to keep him working right. Be gentle when you handle him as well. Respect him and he will give you optimum performance in return.
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